As, I was writing a response to a comment on the "Love and Lust" post, I thought the response itself deserved it's own post.
There appears to be some confusion by my, only, using love and lust in my example. I used love and lust because you see it in the news all the time; where, someone kills or maims their significant other and says something like, "'I' really loved them and 'I' couldn't live with out them." They weren't think of the person they said they loved but only of themselves.
Also, I wanted to clarify 'my understanding,' 'my definitions' of love and lust so if I used them in conversation there would be no confusion. I not really sure if I succeeded, but I tried.
Thanks Kai, I hope I clearered up what I was trying to say.
Here's the reply:
"This post(the original 'Love and Lust' post) was about extremes. About the confusion and mislabeling of what or why we feel the way we do about those a round us.
Different people have a different understanding of the emotions that run our lives. There is a whole range of meaning to the emotions that we feel. Where I think we get in trouble is when the focus is all about us or them with no balance.
If I say, "I love you." What does that mean really? Does that mean 'I' can't stand to live without you, or I want what is best for 'you.' Is it possessive or inclusive? .
When a parent says I want what is best for my kid, are they looking at this from what will make the child happy or them selves? "I want my child to be a doctor" is this statement made because the parent thinks the child would be happy as a doctor, or that the parent would be happy/proud to be the parent of a doctor? Is the focus 'I' or 'them?'
Yes, I know what we feel is usually somewhere in between the extremes, and what is needed in all our relationships is balance: between parent to child, between siblings, between friends and even between enemies; as, hate is on the opposite side of love on the emotional scale.
We just need to look and understand why we feel the things we do, and yes I know this is hard to do in the moment that we are feeling them."